Research masochist

Earlier this week I read this report on how researchers in Australia feel about their careers and things that the researchers who participated think could be done to improve the field. It basically says that most researchers love the research part of being a researcher but struggle with how competitive the field is and find worrying about job security the worst aspect of working in research. 

This is not news for me. As I've gradually become more and more interested in research and taken steps to enter the field over the past two years lecturers I have spoken to have repeatedly told me about these realities. The problem is none of it is sinking in and I'm coming to the realisation that I might be doomed. My current supervisor said it well when he described me as 'a hopeless case'. The more I do research the more I love it. Even when some parts of doing it are really difficult and not enjoyable I can't seem to make myself listen to logic. 

At the moment I'm working as a research assistant and feeling really stressed out about a project I'm working on. It's my first research job and as per the report above the future does seem very uncertain and so I am often having worrying thoughts about whether I should really be doing this. The thing is this is having a rather strange impact. Rather than making me do the logical thing of fleeing as quickly as I can, it's doing the opposite. I feel more determined and even a bit angry, but in an unfamiliar good way. Hmm... actually maybe that's passion I'm describing. 

In the categories in the report above I'm right at the beginning. This year I'm trying to finish a Master of Social Science (Policy and Human Services) and next year I'd like to begin a PhD. My goals for this year are to complete three subjects in first semester, two subjects and a minor thesis in second semester (that really does sound ridiculous) as well as working as a research assistant at least three days a week to cover my living expenses. I also want to publish two to three publications. One is almost ready to go from my work as a research assistant, and the other two I'll try to get out of work I do towards my masters. The thing is that while this does sound a bit ridiculous I actually feel like I'll be able to do it. Time will tell whether I'm just capable and confident or delusional. Either way I'm going to give it a shot.

Any other research masochists out there planning a ridiculous year ahead? I'm sure my attempts are tame by some standards. Happy researching to you and good luck!